Sparkle, God loves you.

Well how the new classes have started!

And how I am so not ready for them!

I feel like its already a massive hurricane that has occurred in my book back.

sad day..

But first block?

RYAN. seriously?

Here are the guys that are passing through right now..

Obsessive one.

Anger one.

Hot Jack Ass Player

Never Get Over

Stalker

Nice One

Ghetto One

All these guys are just either Im friendly with, or actually like/liked

that are still in my life..

I got to ask, why does the pretty guys always end up the ones that destroy you?

One moment you speak, but the lies spill out.

So I have a problem..well more like a assumption.

Do you find it 'funny' to push people down when there already there?

Do you find it hilarious to physcially and mentally hurt someone?

when you see bruises. do you pretend like its not your fault?

when you lie, do you love blaming it on me?

when your the problem, its me the one that starts it.

Im the one that causes the fights,

Im the one thats changed.

you men across the world..

well personally. I think its YOU thats changed.

YOU that lies.

YOU that cannot make up your mind

YOU thats hurting people.

that is all.

Body Shots

"But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you"

So Im going to marry Taylor swift. suriously.

Theres this boy..and he sort of lets me feel like myself, he serenades me country songs, he gets dirty (not horny way), but he is sorta rocking my world..

and its scaring me shitless.

Im so not ready for another 'ryan' anytime soon, or anything near that, so what do I do? Because when I still see him whoring around with literally every girl he sees (no joke) and treats me like im some dust in the wind. this boy is stepping up. but I look at ryan and know without a doubt. hes it. the guy I want. the guy I need. but I shouldnt need.

Sorry, since I consider this my 'diary' Im letting it rolllll!

did anyone else have one boy that changed them whole-heartedly?

because I would love to hear how it effected you.

"Doing shots at the bar, body shots at the bar, my girls wanna try it, so were drinking like rockstars."

BEAUTIFUL. means something

I honestly can't explain if it was the two hour talk last night with ryans sister that put everything in perspective for me.

Such as I feel like a big burdens been lifted off my shoulders..

completely..

and all of the flaws I usually see?

My non flat stomach

my square face

my too big eyes

my crooked teeth

my chubby cheeks.

my low selfesteem

my pessimist-ism lately.

I looked at myself..

and you know what I thought?

Im Beautiful.

and truly. I never thought those words before.

I feel like this is a big step for me.

one that will help me realize I deserve better than whats been happening.

Best reason for a boy to say I like you..Ever

This right here made.my.day.

"I was honestly just not used to this, every girl I dated or liked threw themselves at me (<--eh, little conceited much? Ahah) and your different, you just blew it off like it was nothing."

"I'm not like normal girls"

"I think thats why I like you."

-Sagey, what we get ourselves into?:p

California, here we come

Have you ever watched Teen Mom and wondered..

what in the WORLD are they doing?!

Imm thinking that right now. poor babies! I have only seen about 3 girls who can raise there little babies.

I'll pray for you guys,kay.

Now, lets go on a magical journey..

TO THE BEST SHOW..ever created:)

called The O.C.

We've been on the run, driving in the sun, looking out for number one - California, here we come, right back where we started from...

The O.C. was a show that was on when I was just in middle school, and yes still watched and adored. 

And yes, it deals with alcohol, drugs, sex, and all of the above. 

but what doesnt anymore?

I just loved how real it was.

How crap can happen, but you can turn it around.

and helllloo! have you seen the man playing Ryan Atwood?

THAT should just make you want to watch the show itself!

Honestly, the first season was the best and then it went down hill to me when Marissa started dating psycho boy from her therapy class..

-but its definitely worth watching.

Me and mom just had a marathon the other nightt.

<3

Oh lovely, wont you realize your thrown off your high horse?

Snow snow..

you are really starting to aggravate me.

I love your flurry-ness. but when it gets to the point we cant get out of this

semester?

THEN YOU NEED TO GO AWAY!

Can I just say, Im going to marry jason aldean<3

I worked all week. 

Cleaned up, clean cut, and clean shaved. 

Got the cover off a '68. 

I fired it up, and let them horses sing. 

A little pretty thing. 

A little tan leg Georgia dream. 

She's a rockin' them holey jeans. 

Baby, what you got goin' on Saturday? 

This makes me think of the country down in Florida, and oh how I miss it oh so much.

&& Im also making a pack with myself(:

Through the rest of highschool. Im not going to date anyone. Only exception is if I find some guy that literally knocks me off my bossum;)

To me anymore guys take advantage of girls that are worth a shit,

so Im going to wait for the guy that proves to me hes worth the time :)

Lets take a walk in this new land, and smile

^I want her legs!(:

Bring that bottle around, its time to top it offf!

So its OFFICIALLY the New Year! :)

And for my first official post of the new year, why not start off with how you were in the past, compared to the new start?

Ohkay, so here were some of my secrets, from the behinderr years.

-I got a myspace in 7th grade..well Im still not allowed to have a myspace.:p

-My first boyfriend was the summer before sophomore year.

-My first kiss was half way through sophomore year.

-I used to be OBSESSED with the Wii!

-I got a facebook freshman year..Im a junior and just now is 'allowed' to have one.

-my mom is slightly strict. but im slightly sneaky ;)

-first time I drunk alcohol was junior year. not my best choice :/

-first time sneaking out to just do it. sophomore year

-first time to see someone? Junior year:)

-first love? 8th grade

-first real one? 10th

-only one person who knows all my secrets.

-first party? junior year.

-found God for real? this summer.

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My life hasn't been picture perfect. Well, no ones is.

But even when I hate it. I love it. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Because this is my life. and everyone has a story :)